Since time immemorial, in my mind, music has always had this ability to balm my soul. Yes, shocker, I love it so much, and it is about time I got a little bit over my fears on... being a little open about myself.
I guess you'd say I was a weird last born. Most of them love attention. Well, not me, I never wanted to be the centre of too much attention. Sometimes think I had confidence issues because I felt mediocre. I know you wonder why I'd be that way, but that is a story for another day.
Today the stereo is playing and I am smiling all the way to my books. Yes, I am multi-tasking, a bad habit I so love!
I really love music and singing. However, I am picky about what I listen to. That is why I sit down and ask myself why someone would sit down and come up words that are derogatory to the grammar of a language or borrow from another one.
That's not the point. My point is that I have loved singing since I was a kid. I don't know why I never took part in Music Festival but I do know that during rehearsals, some girl didn't seem quite happy about me being around so I quit and went to start another career.
Not important.
Anyway, back in Primary school, there was this group I had with my friends. I think we were named Children Of God.(Yes, that sounds just about right.I schooled in Lugulu Girls' Boarding Primary School by the way. Halla at anyone who went there between 2003 and 2005.) We all loved singing. For me, that was the time I realized that music and singing was a gift that could ease people's minds. We would get on stage and sing and dance. Yes, I was super shy for some reason, and I never believed myself.
My group was made up of Sheilah Khaemba, Yvonne Ayore, Esther Walinywa, Jackline Khaemba and Hildah Osike. At some point we had a girl called Sarah and Jackie's sister Elizabeth. Yes, I quit the group on a Sunday Morning because of my shyness. I loathe myself for walking out while we were all on stage. I will never forget how bad I felt. Never.
However, on our last week before KCPE, we and another singing group which was quite sensational got together and sang two songs for PPI. Well, it was just the members of the group who were in class. I stood next to Sheilah and Elizabeth who happened to be from the other group. That was the day I realised that I could sing. I heard my voice resonate against the walls of the class and for some reason, everyone turned to look at me as I stood at the front, ducking my head from view as i sang the second verse of 'There Is A Candle'.
When I first auditioned for a position in the choir team back in form two, everyone stopped and turned. I pretended not to have noticed.
The room was silent. You could hear my heart beat.
You'd think that I'd have learned to trust myself and believe in my talents by now, but you're wrong. I have one HUGE problem: Stage fright.
Where am i going with this? Well, last year, I went to meet Kibanya G and while we were learning the song, this guy who lived next door came over and told me that my voice was so sweet, he just had to see who was singing. He looked shocked and he sat outside for a while as we practiced. Yes, that should have reassured me but I just can't help thinking that maybe I am not as good as everyone thinks I am.
My mum's gotten an allergy I have been plagued with for YEARS. It starts as Rhinitis and if kept in the same conditions and in contact with the causative agent, which is mostly allergens, then you develop Asthma. Or that's the rumor. Rumor has it.... Rumor has It... *singing*
Is this because of my confidence issues? Or i am too shy? Do I have modesty?
~*~*~*~*
Okay, so my rant is crazy.
Anyway, apparently, it is one of the things that make me beautiful.
Yes, scars make people beautiful.
So... you already know my history with music, now, my history with singing is merged with it.
Whenever I am upset? Music
Whenever I am happy? Music
Whenever I am studying? Music
Whenever I am waiting for the lecturer? Music
This may or may not be accompanied by singing. I know... it is just who I am. My parents are not as sweet as Zayn's who'd put up with his singing at 3am.
Look now he's a professional singer.
There's Maher Zain too, who I love. His music is so inspiritual. It is so sweet how his music can make me cry.
Yes, I cry when I listen to beautiful music. Who doesn't cry when they see, do or hear a beautiful thing?
So, what are my plans right now? Well, I don't think I can separate music from Zainab. It is food for my soul, it is a universal language. You might say you don't listen to music, but do you listen to the thudding of your heart? the tapping of rain on the roof? Do you listen to the call for prayer? Do you listen to quranic recitations? do you listen to laughter from your loved ones?
That is all music.
All the sounds we find pleasant to our ears are music once we fall into its rhythm. So long as a certain continuous sound loosens your muscles, it is music.
God is good, he put music all around us and we don't even notice it!
Have a musical time, okay? Love you!
~Me
Friday, 22 August 2014
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
Jeez, That was NOT a holiday!
Yawn...
that is how i woke up today.
I am so NOT ready to open school. Everything that i experienced in the last two or so months seems like a blur to me. I won't lie about that!
Do you want to know why i didn't want to get up today morning?
It was so cold, i couldn't feel my toes. Yes, combine that with running around while looking for one shoe to take too a cobbler. Despite my decision being final, it was overruled.
Makes you wonder why you even bothered to explain and make a decision,
Right now i can tell you that i want nothing more than to go back to bed. the internet connection here is so slow. I am uploading another Youtube video as i update my blog. Multi-tasking at its best? i guess not.
Oh, so i have a wattpad account. Or two. Lord, i am so greedy, i admit i wanted to do something different and boom! I did! I have a fan, she is from Syria. Her enthusiasm for my stories makes me feel so special. Yes, squint all you want, i really don't care. It is what i did to pass the time. The means justify the ends. wait, i just said that to sound all fancy!
As i said, the holiday went by in a blur.
MAY.
I spent the last two weeks of the first month worrying over my proposal and my results. Did i tell you i went back to jogging on the last week of May to keep my weight down? Yeah, iot only happened like thrice in the last week.
JUNE
Yes, i think i was still jogging. I had cleared out the proposal and i was finally settling and adjusting to fit in with my holiday schedule. Which basically means: no schoolwork, just housework and loads of stretching feet time. I also started the worst behaviour in the world for a plus-size girl: dabbling in tea cup affairs. Yes, i love tea, but i cut down on it because if i don't, i can get really fat.
During the same month, we started to watch World Cup and I opened or re-opened my hair salon for family business.
I also got to see my eye-doctor and he recommended me to switch to contacts. Yes, i got a monthly pair in my eyes right now. Everything is so much clearer... watch me wave it all goodbye, goodbye...
JULY
This is when we fasted the holy month of Ramadhan. I may or may not have gained weight. I also spent a lot of time soothing my ulcer aches. Yes, my salon was still open with my vivacious sister, Zurah, being my main focus weekly, and my mum being a fortnight visitor.
We celebrated no birthdays except my best friend who went to Kimana and my other friend called Jack from Minor Soul. Okay, i may or may not have him as a friend, him and his brother of course, but i like to flatter myself and this is my blog, so let me fool myself in my flattery.
Yes, i also got my results. I am a 4th year now, meaning in a few years, i may be getting my Masters if i work really hard at it. One of my friends is doing his in Australia and i really wanna do the same thing- go for Masters after finishing my Undergraduate as soon as possible.
Then, i finally joined whatsapp.
AUGUST
In the last three days, I have made a new friend thanks to wattpad. I have also talked to Minor Soul and Sautisol a couple of times.
I am working as an Editor-In-Chief for my school magazine and i am also singing on the side. My producer said he was out getting some new production toys. I can not wait to work with him.
I also visited my dentist numerous times. Okay, not numerous, just like four times in a span of two weeks. He just saw me last Saturday. (02-08-2014)
~*~*~*~*
I lost a friend during this holiday. He became mean and distant. We share a birthday. He insulted my faith and i do not hold it against him. i just hope that somehow he will figure all this out and become the good guy he used to be.
I also lost almost lost a good friend-cum-admirer of mine. Gosh, this has been one of the holidays that has seen a lot of changes and growth... okay, not growth. I have to stop this!
I can wisely say that i have learned to deal with loss. I lost my chancof going to SFS Kimana (School of Field Studies) somewhere near the border of Kenya and Tanzania. It has a sister school in Tanzania. I could not stop crying and being stressed about it, but i got over it, eventually, when i realized that Allah has a plan for me. So now, I am waiting for another chance. If i happen to do my Masters here, in Moi University, I just might go for it if i get considered.
I can also wisely say that I put myself to the test and realised i am multi-talented. I am still learning how to rap though. I wanna be like Cher Lloyd. She is so perfect... Okay, now, i have to pretend i can't hear you guys... but i still #ReallyDontCare because I love Demi and Cher.
Now, my hands are sore. I gotta go. I could sleep here but i can't. I have another blog to update. One Direction are coming to South Africa next year. Oh well... I wish I could celebrate finishing my fourthyear there... is that possible? Do i hear a plane ticket and all paid trip whistling in the wind? Yes? plus a concert ticket? Yes?
May the good Lord be with you.
May the forces of the Universe bathe and cover you.
Love,
~Me
that is how i woke up today.
I am so NOT ready to open school. Everything that i experienced in the last two or so months seems like a blur to me. I won't lie about that!
Do you want to know why i didn't want to get up today morning?
It was so cold, i couldn't feel my toes. Yes, combine that with running around while looking for one shoe to take too a cobbler. Despite my decision being final, it was overruled.
Makes you wonder why you even bothered to explain and make a decision,
Right now i can tell you that i want nothing more than to go back to bed. the internet connection here is so slow. I am uploading another Youtube video as i update my blog. Multi-tasking at its best? i guess not.
Oh, so i have a wattpad account. Or two. Lord, i am so greedy, i admit i wanted to do something different and boom! I did! I have a fan, she is from Syria. Her enthusiasm for my stories makes me feel so special. Yes, squint all you want, i really don't care. It is what i did to pass the time. The means justify the ends. wait, i just said that to sound all fancy!
As i said, the holiday went by in a blur.
MAY.
I spent the last two weeks of the first month worrying over my proposal and my results. Did i tell you i went back to jogging on the last week of May to keep my weight down? Yeah, iot only happened like thrice in the last week.
JUNE
Yes, i think i was still jogging. I had cleared out the proposal and i was finally settling and adjusting to fit in with my holiday schedule. Which basically means: no schoolwork, just housework and loads of stretching feet time. I also started the worst behaviour in the world for a plus-size girl: dabbling in tea cup affairs. Yes, i love tea, but i cut down on it because if i don't, i can get really fat.
During the same month, we started to watch World Cup and I opened or re-opened my hair salon for family business.
I also got to see my eye-doctor and he recommended me to switch to contacts. Yes, i got a monthly pair in my eyes right now. Everything is so much clearer... watch me wave it all goodbye, goodbye...
JULY
This is when we fasted the holy month of Ramadhan. I may or may not have gained weight. I also spent a lot of time soothing my ulcer aches. Yes, my salon was still open with my vivacious sister, Zurah, being my main focus weekly, and my mum being a fortnight visitor.
We celebrated no birthdays except my best friend who went to Kimana and my other friend called Jack from Minor Soul. Okay, i may or may not have him as a friend, him and his brother of course, but i like to flatter myself and this is my blog, so let me fool myself in my flattery.
Yes, i also got my results. I am a 4th year now, meaning in a few years, i may be getting my Masters if i work really hard at it. One of my friends is doing his in Australia and i really wanna do the same thing- go for Masters after finishing my Undergraduate as soon as possible.
Then, i finally joined whatsapp.
AUGUST
In the last three days, I have made a new friend thanks to wattpad. I have also talked to Minor Soul and Sautisol a couple of times.
I am working as an Editor-In-Chief for my school magazine and i am also singing on the side. My producer said he was out getting some new production toys. I can not wait to work with him.
I also visited my dentist numerous times. Okay, not numerous, just like four times in a span of two weeks. He just saw me last Saturday. (02-08-2014)
~*~*~*~*
I lost a friend during this holiday. He became mean and distant. We share a birthday. He insulted my faith and i do not hold it against him. i just hope that somehow he will figure all this out and become the good guy he used to be.
I also lost almost lost a good friend-cum-admirer of mine. Gosh, this has been one of the holidays that has seen a lot of changes and growth... okay, not growth. I have to stop this!
I can wisely say that i have learned to deal with loss. I lost my chancof going to SFS Kimana (School of Field Studies) somewhere near the border of Kenya and Tanzania. It has a sister school in Tanzania. I could not stop crying and being stressed about it, but i got over it, eventually, when i realized that Allah has a plan for me. So now, I am waiting for another chance. If i happen to do my Masters here, in Moi University, I just might go for it if i get considered.
I can also wisely say that I put myself to the test and realised i am multi-talented. I am still learning how to rap though. I wanna be like Cher Lloyd. She is so perfect... Okay, now, i have to pretend i can't hear you guys... but i still #ReallyDontCare because I love Demi and Cher.
Now, my hands are sore. I gotta go. I could sleep here but i can't. I have another blog to update. One Direction are coming to South Africa next year. Oh well... I wish I could celebrate finishing my fourthyear there... is that possible? Do i hear a plane ticket and all paid trip whistling in the wind? Yes? plus a concert ticket? Yes?
May the good Lord be with you.
May the forces of the Universe bathe and cover you.
Love,
~Me
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