Wrap 2018 Up

Wrap 2018 up like a burrito and eat it. Or like a smokie choma in a nice warm chapati with kachumbari *cue stomach growling hungrily* or like a nice mochi ready to eat (I learnt that from watching too many Army videos. Sorry).

How has 2018 been for you? Have you achieved the objectives you set out to do? Did you find love? A good job? Did you confess to your crush that you liked them? Did you finally get over some of your phobias? Did you get your sexy back? Did you get your groove on? Did you follow your heart's call? Did you find a new hobby?

It would be lovely if I would hear from you guys about how 2018 went for you. I'll tell you how my year went. Under a number of themes. Right? Are you ready? Here we go.

So, in 2018, this is how my life went. Despite the fact that 01st January 2018 seems eons away... And I still can't tell if I spent the eve of new year chatting in bed with my sister, or sleeping, or if I was up with both my sisters chatting while my mum panicked about KRA...

Cutting to the chase, here is a wrap up if my 2018.

Love life
2018 was an interesting year in this department. I got dumped a few days to Valentine's day, and spent the rest of the next two months accepting that it was for the best. It was extremely hard considering that I had actually started to really like the guy, and he was Muslim. I still don't know if I was insecure, or if it was the distance or if my hesitance to make it more serious broke us up.

I met quite a number of other guys through work, but most of them were the hit and run kind. They came in all shades, colours and all ages. However, their style was pretty much the same, and my fickle Pisces nature couldn't take it. At the moment, I am wondering if i turned asexual. That is how far and crazy my love life has been. Don't blame the guy who broke up with me on Valentines Day. Instead, go for the one before him who had the guts to tell me after I finally moved on that my status updated were about him.

About him my touché!

Health
So, I started the year with a 'change your workout every month' plan, and only stuck to it for a total of two months (hahaha). Then I decided to do 3000 steps a day. That sort of worked, but I never did much of anything over the weekends.

Due to work pressure, I found myself coming home and passing out on my bed for two hours. I'd wake up and ask myself how I blacked out without supper. I also skipped quite a number of breakfasts and I hated it, but I was always having a burnout and the sleep was never enough so I kept sleeping in and missing my breakfast window.

The number of asthma attacks I had increased during the cold weather, and also during the very dusty months. I remember sitting in the back seat of one of the cars and struggling to open a window because my inhaler wasn't helping and the driver kept shutting it because he didn't want the cold air in the car on that hot afternoon. I had a health talk and I couldn't say anything after in recovered from the attack, so I asked the accompanying peer educator to do it instead. Took a sick off the very next day because I felt too tired.

How can I also forget the Madaraka Day weekend? I had been feeling chills during the week, but figured it wasn't something serious. We were preparing for a new strategy and planning for RRI so we had a couple of meetings that week. I went to get a blood test on Thursday at the hospital and it came out negative for Malaria, so they did the hemogram and said I had a high number of antibodies in my system, meaning there was some sort of infection that my body was fighting.

The doctor gave me some meds, which I took that evening (and God I was freezing) and the next day. On Saturday, I stayed in bed for most of the daylight hours, but then a young friend called me and told me she wanted her shuka (she had left it with one of the staff at my sub-county teams' sites) and I had gotten it back a week back. She probably saved my life by insisting we meet. I was freezing and weak, and taking a warm shower helped, though I literally had to drag myself to the bathroom and back. I made a snail's progress while heading to the closest boda boda stage. A walk that would have taken five minutes took twenty instead.

Rushing through this tale, I found myself being admitted in hospital for observation that night because I had a high fever, tested negative for malaria parasites, but was shivering from head to toe and close to blacking out. They hooked me onto very powerful antibiotics because they realized I had pneumonia, and I got discharged on Monday into my parents' care, only to go home and have the condition deteriorate. My dad figured that it was malaria because the last time I had an infection this bad I almost died. I blacked out repeatedly for a whole week, and lost two weeks worth of memories to date.

So I got the malaria medication and immediately started improving. I completed the first dose, then went back to work while still completely exhausted and couldn't remember details of my first week back at work because I had a pounding headache and I was weak and always cold.

I took the second dose of malaria medication soon after. A few weeks later, I had to take the third dose because I went to get a blood slide and they couldn't find nothing. They did a rapid diagnostic test and couldn't find anything either, but upon taking the medication, I immediately got better. Haven't been unwell since then.

Due to all these problems, I had to slow down and this decision brought a lot of problems with my career.

Career
I won't forget how hard I worked in this past year.

I had a career crisis after the annual workshop and found myself on the brink of plunging into unemployment once again. I won't go into details because it still hurts, but after risking my health, my security, my financial status and my sanity, I found my soft skills trampled on the cold hard ground, along with my heart.

My family was there to walk me through the changes. They still call to check on me. I was so depressed I started working out and I decided to diet because, heck! I wasn't really doing much of anything in the house.

During my next interview, I had to explain why I wanted a job anybody could do, and not the job I trained for in campus. Would I be okay? I smiled at the interviewer whose bandanas I almost snatched out of his hand at Nyali. I smiled at him and explained that I was always flexible and open to trying out new things.

So I have a new job that stresses me less than my older one. The pay is less, but the bills get paid. Hopefully it will train me on economic independence.

Hobbies
I kept on working on my music this year, because it is an outlet for my emotions. I used Karaoke apps most of the time, with a few acapella covers sprinkled here and there.

My SoundCloud account has already surpassed 10000+ plays and my YouTube account has over 100 plays on my videos with 15 subscribers as we speak. I have about 200 followers or more on Smule, over 1000 on Twitter, above 19 on Red Karaoke (i think) and about 1300 on Starmaker.

I also auditioned for KTN I Can Sing and made it to the second round which required physical appearance and auditioning. Unfortunately, I was really broke at that time and couldn't travel to do it. I was also starting out at my new job, so I couldn't take chances like that and risk it all.

I actually feel bad about letting it go, but i'll try it in 2019 and hope for the best.

I also (finally) listened to BTS again. See, in 2016, after watching 'Blood, Sweat and Tears' I got so confused and didn't know what to do, so I practically avoided KPop like a plague. Earlier this year, I started watching K-Dramas to keep busy, then 'Idol' came out, I stumbled across 'Bboom Bboom' by MomoLand and finally watched 'Whistle' by BlackPink which I had heard on Smule a lot since the day I opened my account.

Months later, I can differentiate amongst all the BTS and VAV members easily. I can also recognize the GOT7 members and i'm slowly learning the EXO, BlackPink, MomoLand, MamaMoo, and Twice members.

I am also trying to embrace the 'read paperback novels' culture with ebooks and Wattpad and mangatoon, webnovel and what not.

I need to stop here because I am sleepy.

Hopefully 2019 will have a better impact on me. I'll keep my eyes wide open and stay attentive to everything around me.

Happy Holidays and a prosperous 2019.

Sincerely,
Me.

Jonas Wedding

I just recently returned to Twitter to see photos of Nick marrying Priyanka. Yes, I knew he was engaged, but I didn't follow through to find out when they would be getting married. 

See, I was about 18 or 19 when I discovered the Jonas Brothers. I got a crush on Joe first, leaving Nick for my sister. However, in the three years leading up to 2018, everything changed. Suddenly, Nick Jonas made it hard for me to breathe when I heard 'The Difference' or 'Champagne Problems.' I don't understand exactly why, but I embraced it. 

I always knew he had a thing for older women after Delta Goodrem, so seeing him flirting with Kate Hudson (was it...?) and Priyanka didn't really affect me. I figured he wasn't sure about settling down then. So you can imagine my shock when he proposed to her, then I saw them trending on Google, and before I could get over my sudden job shift, they were married.

I can't swallow my saliva.

I can't breathe.

Nick Jonas, the one guy I have loved since I discovered the Jonas Brothers, the one guy who made me giggle and watch Jonas LA religiously, and the ONE GUY who made me re-watch 'Jealous' more than ten times... Yes, that guy, that one guy ended up with one of my favourite Bollywood actresses.

I am not sad about Priyanka and Nick ending up together. I am a huge fan of PC, to the point that I filter my Indian movies because of her (not that I don't watch as many of them as I can get, but movies PC acts in make me really excited). I think I just have too much going on emotionally at the moment, and I am grappling with the changes while trying to live my life in the most sane way ever.

On the plus side, I have found a new boybands to replace the gaping hole one Direction and Jonas Brothers left in my heart. BTS, everyone's darlings, have made their mark on me. I shall elaborate more on this at my girly blog. See you there!

K-Pop has gotten me through the most chaotic months of 2018, and that makes me a little better. I have been through hell and back. My mum had seen the worst of it, and she has since been calling me almost daily to keep track of me. I am thankful for having her and my dad and both my sisters holding me together when things went the way they went.

Anyways, congratulations to the newly weds, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas.

Meanwhile, I'm here waiting for the change in my life to unfurl like a flag.

Deliberations

It is a lovely mid morning with a beautiful blue sky outside for as far as my eye can see. I'm indoors trying to weigh things and sort out my thoughts on everything I have going on at the moment.

It has been about twenty eight hours since my migraine began. I have had to suspend all activities that put a strain on me, including my daily workouts spanning an hour. Just yesterday I barely made it to twenty minutes, and the dizzy spells were even worse.

I am not too sure if I have a sudden rise in my blood pressure, but it is something I have to go examine because I am naturally predisposed to HBP due to my close dance with the condition back when my eyesight was really bad and I was still in campus. Not that this post is about medical conditions and what not. I just have a lot on my mind and I thought it would help to somewhat express them, even if they are disjointed and may not make any sense.

There's the realization that maybe I should not run the public health consult blog. I have had my doubts in the past, but then I have also wanted to be the kind of person who could educate people on issues regarding their health and options on promotion and prolonging them.

However, sometimes due to a lot of personal issues, you are not too sure whether you can mix in your life examples and the sort of professional tone of the consult. Makes one start to ponder over it for days and or months. Of course people love to have a reference for all the different issues they have in life. For instance, I am always trying to find out which celebrity has a similar vocal range to mine (I can never seem to find it though, so I get bored and go on Wattpad instead, living my life in my usual fantasy sort of way).

Honestly speaking, I never quite understand what goes through my head sometimes. I think of weird things and then I don't understand how I even thought of them. Like how a dentist recommends the best toothpaste yet they also make a living filling our cavities... Okay, then dental health is really important for public health, but can we really trust the toothpaste thing?

Or how companies selling water filters will make their money once we discover pure and clean drinking water right at the source... I don't even know if that even makes sense. I don't think it even relates.

I think I need to take my leave. Good day to you dear kind sirs and daughters.

Sincerely,
Me.

Old New Changes

After a week in Ugenya, I am extremely excited to be heading back to Rarieda, my extremely beautiful but spiky child. I am still exhausted from all the travelling but I just couldn't wait to go back.

Maybe travelling is overrated. Or maybe it is because I'm just tired and need to go on leave. Hmmm...

I was talking with a colleague on a few changes in the coming weeks before the much hyped retreat in September. Yes, late September and I can't wait... I am so excited. However, until then, work continues, and hopefully when pay day comes up, I won't be too broke in a week's time.

I mean... So many things to buy for the retreat... Ahem. Back to the topic at hand, I oversee a lot of late evenings and nights spent planning and working and strategizing. I need to be better at marrying theory and practicals.

Wish me luck.

Jitters

This has been a crazy month.

By month i mean Ramadhan. June is still a bit new and May envies its vitality, but what can i say? That's just how life goes.

Away from weird month jokes... This has been a weird month, mostly because i spent last weekend in a hospital bed, got discharged on Monday afternoon, and spent the rest of my week off work telling the people in my charge to give me time off to rest. Some heeded, others kept calling for the weirdest reasons, and as for those calling to ask for money, my illness was a great way to end the conversations.

The return date is fast approaching. In a few hours, i am supposed to be on my way back to my quaint house and my parents have agreed to take me there because they are as sceptical as i am about my health. The only problem i have is one: my house is in a huge mess.

Yes, when my mum accompanied me there to pack, she wasn't too happy about it. That was the first time she found my house looking crappy. Of course i have had my lazy days, and i have had my industrious days, but last Saturday, and a whole bunch of days last week were not. There is quite some work to be done but not enough energy.

I won't lie - i have jitters.

I don't know what to expect, so i'm just gonna wear a puppy face when my parents start asking questions... Perhaps break into tears all of a sudden...? Sob emotionally? Maybe i'll get out of it. I'm a last born after all (not that it ever worked with my parents but then again... Who knows? Being ill has let me get away with a lot, haha)

I have a lot of work i need to catch up on. Hopefully i can do that from Monday morning. I can already feel exhaustion creeping in like a wave of fog. Ugh!

Well... Jitters it is for this title. Till my next post, stay safe and healthy. If you are in any of the eight counties that are currently embroiled in a tangle with Cholera, better take care of yourselves. Wash your hands and boil your water and cover your food. As for those in flooded areas, our prayers are with you.

Okay, later.

Sincerely,
Me.

The Murky Waters

Hi. I have a new post for you today. I know, it has been months since we last spoke. I have been up and about, promoting better health, one uncircumcised man at a time. Yes, i finally completed a paid internship (which is saying a lot considering how messed up the government one was), and things finally started working out for me. Who knew?

When i first convinced myself to settle for Public Health, i believed i was going to make a huge impact. I would like to blame all those online articles for the false hope they gave me. I am pretty sure i am not alone. We are so many prawns and pawns of the system.

Yes, today i can proudly tell you how the system failed us. This post is one in a series of posts about how public health has taken a downhill spiral in Kenya based on my own own experience.

*~*~*~*

Public Health, or Environmental Health, is a rather huge, and hugely marketable course. I just want to make that clear from the start. Why would i say that?

1.) PHOs are always geared towards making good health a benefit by preventing diseases,

2.) PHOs are trained in a wide curriculum that has ties to engineering, environment studies, sanitation, law, immunology, biochemistry, mathematics, language, and research, to name but a few,

3.) PHOs are a "jack of all trades." Since their courses are multi-disciplinary, PHOs are more often than not good at more than two things. Personally, i am good at NCDs, Entomology and anything involving observation and record keeping.

There are other benefits which i shall not name at the moment. Reason being, i shall keep talking about it and get lost. Completely.

*~*~*~*
During my first year in undergraduate, a lot of my classmates were a bit confused on what their role was to be. Thankfully, our lecturers were only too glad to advice us on where we were headed in case we chose to be PHOs.

Fast forward to 2015, my graduation year. After all the stress school piled on us, we finally made it out. We walked into the world hoping things were better, but they had progressively gotten worse. This was especially for those of us who came from high school and joined the programme.

I remember trying to get an internship within the county i was raised was so hard and everyone came up with the most ridiculous list of requirements, inclusive of health insurance and transcripts and a letter from the school. These were requirements requested during attachment. There was going to be the need to reapply every 3-4 months. Of course there would be no pay.

I remember calling my dad and i told him with tears in my eyes that the application was going to be unsuccessful. I then went on to rattle the entire list of requirements to him on the phone. He was as baffled as i was. The next thing we did was attempt another county. I decided to try the nearby county. I was given the phone number of a former student in the university i studied at. It was the most chilling and awkward call i had ever had. I was actually on my way to see her when she picked up the phone and spoke to me the way she did. I immediately got off and headed back home after that encounter.

At that time i was working two jobs, one in hotel, the other in entertainment. The responses i had received had been discouraging. Either way, i still wanted to do my internship, so i decided to try another nearby county. I went there and found my way to the county public health offices, then the urban public health offices.

The third county i visited had hosted us during our second field attachment. They were warm and receptive and they advised me to start the application from Nairobi. That was exactly what i did. I was among the first to apply for the internship in 2015/2016. At first i was told to bring my certificate proving i had actually completed school. I had to wait till i cleared to do that.

After four rejected applications, i finally got Trans-Nzoia. I was so happy about it. My parents were skeptical. However, i was too excited to see ahead of my triumph for that moment.

Join me on my next blog post to continue the story. I look forward to your feedback.

Sincerely,
Me.