Dreaming of When...

Well, it might come as a shock to you... or not.

I love writing. A lot!

When I was younger, I had this "magazine" in my diary where i wrote about things happening in school everyday. It was pretty funny when I look back at it. I wrote it in a very... weird way.

The title of my magazine was "RumourMill" and believe you me, i though it was pretty cool.

Everyone who knew me then probably thought I'd end up as an English Major or something close to that like Law and Journalism or Mass Media.

I ended up in EVH.

I don't mind it because now, I write articles and put them up. Oh, I have to write an article but I haven't got a clue on what to write.

Unless it becomes a poem.

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So, i was checking my email the other day, and sifting through trash... yeah, trash because most of them are from Hi5 and Tagged. (Don't ask, and, no, I am not kinky neither do i have a non-existent lovelife) when i came across a Soundcloud email addressed to me.

It wasn't my first time seeing one like this... but it was the second time getting a notification on the downloads on one of my sounds.

It was Sautisol's "Lazizi" which i recorded over a year ago. Poor sound quality but still...

It made me realize that maybe what my sister has been saying all along really is true. People really wanna hear my voice... right?

Or I ma just dreaming?

I wondered if I should de-activate the "download" button but I decided... nah. I will do something better instead. I will sing a song by them to celebrate 1000 downloads and I am still thinking of a Camp Rock song to sing to celebrate the 100 downloads of ":Our Time Is Here"

Yes, I know, I should stop. You probably don't wanna know this.

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Then, the cherry on my pie.

I told you that it's been like a year since i first posted on Blogger. In celebration of that, I am going to add one more little thing to my everything here.

So far, I have been posting...
> poetry (sometimes)
>normal rants and what what
>links to my soundcloud
>links to my twitter (?)
>links to my youtube.

I decided to add something new... like...
>song lyrics!

Who's excited? Woohoo?!

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Yesterday, the DeSilvaGroup tried to invite me for a mentorship program that runs for a whole month... then again, maybe i did not get that right.

I have been voting for Sautisol like the crazy girl i am. No, i am not a groupie, I just zealously support people i believe in. I don't mind looking silly. I would rather be laughed at for someone I believe in than for nothing I believe in.

Weird quote over there.

Anyway, so they asked me how they can thank me and I won't lie, I was speechless, so much that i wrote "well..." because I didn't have much to say. My tweets portray every single thing I do. I won't lie, it actually felt weird being asked to name whatever gift or favour i needed in return.

I do not want any favour.

All i want is a friend. or friends.

I wonder why the world thinks everyone got a price.

How do you sleep at night?

Anyway, i was appalled by this. I mean, is it that people do things for them while expecting something ALL THE TIME? It is sad, i think it really is.

Away from my rant about gifts and what not, my mum's birthday is on December. (I brought you back to gifts again, lol) and I have no idea what to get her.

I am not freaking out. I usually get people earrings but my mum tends to lose hers all the time, so... I still have to think. I can't get her perfume because her doctor told her to avoid strong scents.

UGH!

Now i am freaking out!

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That title up there does not go whit my blogpost today. I am distracted. I have to go. BYE!

A Little Bit Of Everything

Hey everyone!

How are you doing today? I hope you are okay? I am doing great, really am. I know I have been quite quiet for a while and you guys probably do not fancy it, but... here I am now.

I have been busy studying, and catching up with school. I have also been writing "SOTH" whenever i get a break. Been voting for SautiSol on the side too... Let me stop.

I have made some videos too, tried to find time to make more... I hope to be able to do that tomorrow. I have this special request someone made to me and I haven't covered the song yet. I feel like a bad bad person.

Even then, I came up with this mash-up. I think I might put it up sometime soon when I have worked out a way to sing it without pissing my mum off. And my sister.

Then next week might be presentations and... holy molly, i haven't lost enough weight to fit into my clothes!

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I am currently writing a book called, "Poetry By Ynab" and it was previously called "Are We Cool?" coz back then, I did not understand which name i would name my first analogy of poetry.

I have also been writing song verses whenever I can... it is both exhilarating and exhausting. Problem is, will my producer even want to listen to them?

If not, then I have a YouTube Channel... I will sing them on there, kind of Pentatonix style... lol, I am obsessed with Pentatonix you guys. How can people sound so beautiful and perfect without beats?

Its... beautiful acapella.

I would love to try that someday.

Oh, and I should get some funny Dave Days or Kimmi Smiles videos. I know, they are both hilarious!

~*~*~*~*

Well, with that to say, "A Little Bit Of Everything" is not a little bit of everything without a poem... right? Well, its been a while, so... if it looks weird, just imagine I am a turkey trying to escape Thanksgiving while skiing on a snow ski. YEAH!

you can barely see the pain
crossing her eyes as she sobs
she has learnt to hide her vain
so much that even if it hurts she looks like she's happy.

The world turned her to this
she carefully camouflages a hiss
i look at her and see fear, anger and hate
but in one blink she changes her fate...

or does she?


 

Be Unique

When I was younger, my mum would look at the lot of us and tell us, with a serious face, that she wanted us to understand that we were different, and even though we did not have many friends, we were unique. She kept preaching that we had to be unique about everything we did, said, or lived.

When I got a little older, and got shipped off to boarding school, i almost lost that identity. However, somehow I found it because, well, sometimes when you are over the edge you seem to see how much bigger the world is. Not how much farther your rocky deathbed is below the cliff.

I have always been a sucker for good language command, especially with the English language. There's nnothing better than watching someone speak to you while keeping all the aitches in place.

I would SO love that.

Anyway, back to the story, a unique person has their own scale of measurement. By that I mean that you cannot measure their essence according to what others have. They set new sets and standards for everyone else. By this, I mean that they are record holders.

How unique do you want to know i am? Well, firstly, I am one of the few people who will tell you the truth and not show you how I really feel.

Crazy but true.

I am also capable of bottling in everything. Just today morning, I came clean with my parents that I had my allergy way before high school. Rhinitis makes the sinuses enlarge when you are exposed to an allergen. This makes it hard to breathe. There are times it is so painful, you find yourself crying. When the blockage happens, no sleeping position seems comfortable.

Once again, back to the story. I hide things and only tell them when I want to. Worst case scenario is when I am on the hot seat and everything has to come out and I am still somehow holding cards to my chest.

Third, I am pretty good at singing, but then, being a girl, I am pretty much bi-polar. So today I am like, "look at me, I can dance and sing" tomorrow i'm like, "don't you DARE tell me I am a good dancer or singer. I am DREADFUL!"

I was told that comes with losing self-confidence. It is probably true, I got loads of self confidence issues.

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I am kind of tired. Shall we resume soon?

Away from that, I have this crazy thought about today.

You see, I paid to attend FAMSA (Federation of African Medical Students Association) and today is the last day. I am going to attend it from morning to evening, minus the dinner because, well, I don't even know where I am sleeping, what to wear to dinner and who's going to be my escort.

Apart from that, my escort will probably ditch me anyway. Unless they are loyal or smitten.

No one really is.

I am a blonde too you know!

So, after going through my closet, I found a few options that my mum and my sisters thought were not good for dinner. Eventually, we decided I wear what I am wearing today, but my mum said she'd get me a dress today. I decided today morning that I don't wanna go.

Not because I want to piss my mum off. That is plain mean.

I came to that decision because I realised I don't frigging fit into any clique. I am kind of a wanderer. My uniqueness probably makes it harder for people to sit next to me. -> meal times are meal times. No talking looooooong stories <- Yesterday I went for lunch and found myself all alone in a crowd of people, half of whom I do not know...

This is the one time I habve felt completely alone and lonely. SO much that I wished I had carried a colouring book and a set of crayons or lots of half-filled codewords and crossword puzzles.

That is how sad my life can get sometimes.

Anyway, I am going to keep doing my thing.

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Switching into rockstar mode... loading... loading... loaded

I have a few things to say today. They are about my career. If you do not like me singing, then I suggest this is the time you should bail out and go to my next blogpost.

1.) KibanyaG FINALLY got the studio up and running. Big-up to my buddy and producer. I love you too! xoxo

2.) Double The Z got featured on KibanyaG's blog. I didn't see that coming. :-)

3.) "Our Time Is Here" a Camp Rock Cast Cover i did just hit 100 downloads on soundcloud two weeks ago after a year of being there. WOW! Thank you everyone who downloaded it!

4.) MinorSoul were supportive about my videos. Cannot wait to do more

5.) I got featured on CoverBattles for my cover of the incredibly talented Clean Bandit. I sang "Rather Be" and believe me, it was a lot harder than it seemed because it was my first time doing a karaoke song.

6.) I got two fans on Wattpad over my story #SOTH "Slave Of The Heart". They are so sweet!

7.) I continued writing songs... and for some reason i keep thinking that if i made an album, it would be titled "bullets" or something

8.) I found out that I am a rhythmical song writer. I have great command in language and i can make an amazing pop singer. WOW! I was blown away by that synopsis. Then I can't be a good rockstar. I know, super-bummed too.

9.) I have 84 views on my MinorSoul cover, "Beneath My Skin". YEIY!

10.) A friend of mine, actually make that two, love my singing. One of them inboxed me on facebook while the other commented on my link saying he wanted to share it on IG.
I could be famous on instagram!

Okay, i am normal. I was just quoting Jason Derulo from "wiggle"

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BYE! Gotta go, this is not my computer, and the wifi is not mine either! BYE!