By now, you all know my various health conditions like the Lord's Prayer... or Surah Fatiha, seeing that it is Ramadhan. For others, you know it as well as the chant of your favourite song, Sautisol or not.
Why would i start a Blog post with that reference? I am glad you asked Muffin.
Well, anytime I try to Fast, my stomach gets other ideas. It starts to ache. Not because it is hungry, but because it believes it can control my life the way it wants to. Yes, that does not make any sense to you right now. Well, i skip a lot of lunches, and my stomach aches once or twice. However, when i try to fast, it aches every time. Then i get gassy, and my stomach bulges, and it gets so painful... et cetera et cetera.
My stomach is such a spoilt brat during the normal months of the year, but on Ramadhan, she becomes an angel. Literally. It stays quiet and i never hear even one peep from her, unless maybe she is grumbling from me drinking dirty water, or contaminated food and drink during Iftar.
I am one of the muslimahs who are learning as they go. I am not perfect, as everyone in this world isn't either. There are a lot of things i admit i do not know, but i know a lot too, so... yes. Ramadhan happens to be one of those things i know about, and i am not afraid of expressing how i feel about it.
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When i was younger, my mother encouraged me to learn how to pray the Islamic way. The rakats and the sujud and what not. I learnt un under a month. I was around nine or ten then. I then started to wear the hijab too. I started to fast soon after. It was harder then though. I couldn't make it past 2:00pm without feeling the urge to eat. My parents understood, and helped me build up my tolerance.
Class Six found me in Boarding School and when Ramadhan came around, I fasted, for the very first time. I managed to do almost half of the days before my stomach condition ate into a few other days. With every year, my tolerance grew. Eventually, i was managing close to 30 days, until i reached puberty and the days started to decrease.
Ramadhan had always been a bit of a hustle for me when i was away from home, because back in the day, i lived in a school that had unbendable dining hall rules. You could not sneak out food, or miss meals. You could not come late to the dining hall. As thus, Ramadhan was a time of plenty of juice and bread. During high school and primary, all the times Ramadhan came around were the 3rd term months. You all know how dry third term is.
There was a time i went to the school field at Games Time and lay down on the grass and everyone around me (girls) were asking me if i was okay. Was i? I really was, there was just the exhaustion, what with regular classes and crazy teachers sending us around class. I found myself feeling so exhausted and didn't even register it when my muslim brother came up and gave me some dates.
I never really knew much about Ramadhan in 2004. All i knew was that i wasn't supposed to salivate. So, i made a very (disgusting) decision to spit anytime i had saliva in my mouth. Eh, that was torturous (and stupid) but i can't be blamed. I was still learning, and i was12 years old. Yeah, not angry at myself for that. I am actually smiling as i think back at it. That year, my matron tried to help me by keeping food for me to eat at Suhur but i found myself relying a lot more on juice and biscuits.
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I am not narrating all this to make you feel sorry for me. My aim is to make you understand that Ramdhan has commonly been misunderstood. Most people think that for muslims, it is the one time of the year we eat extravagantly and make tasty food. And don't go to work.
Ramadhan is, I agree, a tiring month. I have felt it, and i have somehow found my exhaustion irritating. However, i love fasting during Ramadhan, especially because of late, I am always at home. We eat Suhur together, while watching Al Jazeera and talk world politics (or listen, because i listen more than i talk) and then we all spend time together. For me, Ramadhan is a family affair, and it will never change. Inshallah, when i am married, and with kids, i will think back fondly to how the Ramadhan experience was for me.
In my house, we try our level best to eat healthy, and Ramadhan is no different. The fresh dark green succulent veggies we grow in the farm provide a steady nourishment, along with milk, and sometimes eggs. We still make ugali, probably in much smaller portions, and sometimes we have beans and chapati because beans are protein and is much needed to provide energy when the carbohydrates are over. Tea is a common phenomenon, seeing as we are Luhyas, born and raised.
During special occasions, we might make some samosas, but that is only because we are sure that none of us will be sick afterwards. Yes, we have to be careful what we eat, so we monitor our diet during Ramadhan.
Some might say that we are doing it to lose weight, from the diet plan above. I would say, it is a benefit that comes with fasting. Losing weight should be done healthily though. We wouldn't want some of us being unable to concentrate because our blood sugar is too low. Hypoglycemia is not a desirable thing.
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What have i been doing this Ramadhan then?
Well, first, I have been trying to be more tolerant, patient and understanding. i have also tried to connect with the muslims at my school, seeing as i have been a little behind in the happenings around me. I have managed to maintain a healthy diet... or a semblance of it. Yes, do not judge. I am a young person who has cravings because my hormones are a little on the wild side. Have i helped? Hmm... i don't know... maybe?
For me, i never realize i am helping. Plus if i am, then i should keep it to myself.
I don't have answers to a lot of questions, but even i am trying to find stuff out. What i have, i hold dear. Ramadhan is the one time when every good deed done is rewarded by a higher magnification than what is normal. As thus, people study the Qur'an extensively and pray more so than they do. It is a Holy month for the muslims, and should be regarded as such by everyone.
Ramadhan Bareek to all of you.
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