FRIENDSHIP

FRIENDSHIP

I haven’t been in this world for many years. Even then, I am thankful to God for my 21 years of life here, on earth. As many of you know, life is never pleasant, and it took me a shorter time to figure that out than my sister did. Since I was a little kid, I always figured out that life was not fair. I think I was six or seven then, and all I had were frenemies. People were just acting friendly to me because my mum was a teacher at the school I went to. No she didn’t teach me, so don’t ask me how it feels to sit in my mum’s class. Till I met this girl, well, these girls who kind of changed my lower primary life.

First, one of them was my neighbor, the other was my classmate and the third was the child of a colleague. The first two were Asian (Indian) and the last one was African. In fact, she was Luo. Back then, skin colour didn’t matter to me. It still doesn’t matter that much.

Back to the story, these three girls made my life worth living. When we met, we sort of just clicked. The funniest thing is that maybe they never got to know each other when I left. Even then, it didn’t matter. My friends were my anchors. They helped me through my life and we would make mud pies from clay during ACM (Art and Craft and Music). My figures were never good enough and I remember my teacher telling me I was hopeless, and Esther (that was her name) told me when he turned that everyone was pretty hopeless anyways. She treated me like me, not like the daughter of a teacher. We used to walk to the school gate together almost every day when class ended at 3pm.

Bavisha, my neighbor, would walk home with me and my sisters and her sisters. Funny, we were all three in our families. I had two sisters, so did she. We used to have a pretty big crowd on our way home for lunch because almost every kid from our building went to my school. At that time, Eldoret had very many Asians, and most of them were in the best schools here, my school being one of them.

My other friend was also sweet. She came from the Patel Community too. I can’t remember her name right now, but believe me when I say we were pretty close. She, however, had to keep deciding between me and her other friend who used to harass me because of some reasons I will explain one of these days. Anyways, I was very fond of her, and she of me. When we moved, I didn’t keep contact with my friends, so I kind of just withdrew into a shell. Thank God we have phones and email addresses today!

Friends are the only people who can understand how it feels like to be alone. As human beings, we all are endowed with a social streak. By social, I don’t mean to say that we are all chatty and stuff. I mean that we all need to depend on someone, even when we are all grown up and independent off our parents. One of the things everyone in this world wants is someone who can understand exactly what they mean, how they feel, or what they are going through.

We meet friends in the weirdest ways. For some, it is during a challenging time, for others it is when we are just bumming around. It is not always easy to open up to someone you barely know, but it is worth it, especially if you find out that he or she is probably just as nervous as you.

I have a really good friend right now. Actually, I have like plenty of good girlfriends. However, this one is like the only Christian girl in my school whom I can trust my life with. We have done it all- had movie marathons, played guitar together (I stopped playing coz the strings hurt my fingers, so I only know how to random strum), goofed around, slept in the same bed, shared the same room, met part of her family, talked about guys, and even given each other advice on various things. We have always spent a lot of time together, but last academic year was pretty hard, and I think we are drifting apart.

Even then, she is always there for me, and I love her for that. anytime I had a problem, I would race to her place and we’d hang out. Even on the good days, we’d just bum in the kitchen, or in her room. I was so open with her, so was she. And we actually played tennis together (Well, I stopped last academic year but I do hope that I can start again this year. I kind of suck at it because I don’t always show up for practice and I hate running, which has to change too.)

We met in the weirdest way. It was during Orientation week, and I was back from a light lunch when I walked in on her sitting in the lecture hall. I was pretty shy, but I was sure she looked familiar. When she came over, she said hello and asked for my notebook. (LOL, it was from high school and it was even a part time diary) I was a little scared of her seeing the number of guys I had had crushes on during my last few weeks in school as I did my KCSE. Lucky for me, she didn’t open those pages. When we were rushed out to go to another lecture hall at a new-ish building, she took out some gum, (PK) and was like, do you want some? And I was like hell yes.

That was how our friendship began. I have a really close friend too from my high school. She was like the best desk mate ever. She was, and still is amazing. Would you like to know how we met? It was my first day at Wareng High School and I was like an entire term late. I was going to redo my last year in high school because I felt like I hadn’t done well enough in my previous results. My family was a little divided. First, they thought I was kidding when I said I wanted to go back to high school. When they wrapped the idea around it, they were undecided on whether I would go to third form or just do fourth form again.

Basically, I was a fifth form.

Third problem- I had been in a same sex school for four years. My mum was pretty worried about it, but I was like, I’ll be fine, I went to a mixed school before.

So, here I was, regretting the last thought I had expressed to my mum. I was done with my English paper, thoroughly confused, and then very uncomfortable with the tie round my neck. We never wore them in my previous school, unless you were a prefect. They had tried to introduce it in form three, and we had worn them whenever we went out, but it was optional, because our blouses were fashioned to NOT accommodate ties.

In my confusion, she came up to me and offered to walk me to the dining. When I got there, I saw all these guys looking at me and I just freaked out and ran.

The next day, I made a new friend too, and we became really close. She was just herself, so was i. when Martha and I chose to become desk mates, little did we know how close we’d get. If I could go back to any high school year, it’d be the year I spent with my new friends at Wareng. Right now, I keep in touch with Martha the most. We are like totally different yet similar, and it just feels really nice getting to know her.

Another thing you probably already know about friends is that, they don’t have to be your exact similarity. You two may have only a chromosome in common, but who said you can’t be kindred souls?

As I said before, friends come in all forms. However, the ones who matter are the ones that stay through the rising dust and are smiling at you when it all settles. They can be male or female, gay or straight, light or dark skinned, plump or skinny, scared or brave. Name it all. This variance just stands to show that we are human and that we tend to be different at certain times. These times change everything, and when we least expect it, someone reaches out to us, or smiles at us and tells us its gonna be alright.

Personally, I take time to make friends, and I am happy when I meet someone who understands the hesitation. It is sort of my thing to be a loner, but having a friend is something good. It is like a breath of fresh air. Especially if they are the cheerleaders of your dreams, (Ha-ha, that’s from a song, sorry) and they keep telling you to keep the faith.

Some friends end up becoming like family. We all have friends like that, or at least had friends like that. Others become our lovers, others we marry, others we dump, etc. it’s the cycle of life, well kind of. As one very wise girl in Small Ville said, “There are friends we grow into and friends we grow out of. . .”     

Ugh, I have run out of words. I am more of a storyteller than a fact pointer.

If you have that special friend, then text or call him up as soon as you finish reading my post. Because, friends stay together where all else fails. Doesn’t matter if you guys haven’t spoken in years. True friendship, like love, stands the test of time. So, go on, do it. You’d be surprised at how much you to have to talk about.

Here ends my story of the day, so you can get in touch with that friend or friends that you haven’t been in touch with. Ciao.

Much love,

Me.