A Weekend Well Spent!

Hi, I am a girl who spends her weekends indoors.

This weekend however, turned out a little different.

I volunteered for a Rotary/Rotaract local project. It was a medical camp! My sister, who happens to be a member of Rotaract, called me up on Thursday while i was huffing and puffing like a steam train on Thursday Night while i made my way to my room at 7.00pm thereabouts. She wanted some Public Health advice on... JIGGERS!

I was so worried and frantic about the whole thing. I wasn't even sure i'd go. Till Friday evening when i decided, "what the hell?! I WILL go and see how it turns out."

Saturday morning was spent in nervousness. I even forgot to have breakfast! We got to the camp before or at 10.00am, not sure which is which. The weather was so windy and sunny much later in the day... Anyway, i saw my sister looking all at home and i was like, "oh wow, i wish i wasn't this nervous." A guy walked up to me and asked me to lead the rest of the group into the pharmacy. i did as asked, only to get there and see these Indian ladies and gentlemen. One other thing i noticed was that they were all short... well, except for one.

That morning, i worked at arranging the bottles of medicine for the medical students. It was tiring but fun. You could make your own legit skyscraper if you wanted. Mine only had 3 floors. All of mine actually. We wee unpacking and arranging the medicines on the tables of a high school  laboratory.

When that was done, there was nothing much to do. Till i was asked to help pre-package pills in brown prescription envelopes. I worked till one cuddly looking guy came over and he mentioned 'jiggers' and i was all excited and ran out in search of them. Didn't find any, sadly.

We went to lunch much later on, driven by an air conditioned van because it was so dusty and windy and the driver did not want the van getting dusty. The host was very nice. He went around helping us wash our hands before the meal. Yes, he used a jug and poured the water above our hands. I was so happy! He was practicing what the club had preached once or twice... aye?

Lunch consisted chapati, beef, chicken, rice and a soda to quench thirst. I ate my chicken with a spoon. After that, i went back with the rest of the volunteers to do something.

When i got back, one of my campus mates asked me to join her at the window so that i could learn how to help distribute medicine. We worked together, and she taught me how to substitute some drugs for others when they were unavailable, or when the person had a health condition that did not allow them to take the prescribed drug. Or the substitute.

After a hard day's work, we closed the windows and left for a parade. We were with the members of the Rotary Club- Utumishi -from Nairobi. The President taught us how to pray while holding hands in the 'hard-soft-hard' manner. I found it really funny, the hard being the guys' rough and calloused hands, while the soft hands were women's.

We eventually got into the bus and left.

By the way, the camp was being sponsored by Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital, St. Luke's Orthopaedic Hospital and Nairobi Utumishi Rotary Club.

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Sunday started off pretty weirdly, i must say. While i was fetching water from the bathroom on the first floor, i saw this guy leave a girl's room at half past six. Eh.

Then i ended up showering in a bathroom that someone had a long call in. That, my friend, was just GROSS!

Anyway, i had a lovely time. I waited a bit longer for the bus. My sister couldn't make it, but i did, and i helped set up the pharmacy for the last day of camp.

We got to Illula at around 10.00am thereabouts, and we already had our work cut out for us. The group i came with was somewhat new, and they had to divide themselves amongst the different stations. Eventually, i ended up with a lot of muslim guys... (I think they were trying to protect me, eheheheh!) and the patients started queuing up. While i was working beside the guys, I met this pharmacist whose name i forgot to ask. he had dimples, and he was so sweet and soft-spoken. i felt like he was sent there to make me smile.

He pointed out some mistakes i made while labeling the envelops, and i just laughed awkwardly. I know, i know, I am a sociophobe.

Anyway, i decided to start packaging while dispensing to help the 'pharmacists' and the pharmacist. It became like a sort of dance. One second you're near the window, the next you are dancing across the floor to pick up a drug... or two... or three.

The turn out was pretty big. The word had gotten out about free medicine.

I also apologized to this other guy i met yesterday. He knew me and i made him introduce himself and he was like, "we went to school together," and i was like, "i really can't remember you..." Yeah, i have an awful memory.

I told him that i was kind of shy, but i knew he looked familiar when i saw him. He was like, "why didn't you tell me?" and i was like, "I am not really good at being social."
Anyway, things went well. I helped count the prescriptions... the cute pharmacist helped me, and i am eternally grateful for that. Anyway, we closed up shop because the medicines were over, plus the Utumishi Club had to be back home before tomorrow. We helped pack and the Scouts helped to clean up.

Once again, i ended up being used almost like a leader by the Rotaract members to make my campus mates go in for some refreshments. I conveyed the message. It was just around 2.00pm by then.

After refreshments, i had a slight delay and ended up in the seats towards the back.. all alone. Luckily for me, my music was there.

I already miss working at the camp. :-( The guys from the Rotary Club and the Rotaract Club were very thankful to me for the help i gave while at the camp. I bowed but they didn't find it funny. I felt weird. Almost everyone does. Actually, it was a curtsy.

Their sense of humor is not mine. Hmmph!

To tell you the truth, i feel like growing up sometimes makes people not see the childlike part of everything.

I never wanna grow up! :'(

I have to go. Bye!

Dreaming of When...

Well, it might come as a shock to you... or not.

I love writing. A lot!

When I was younger, I had this "magazine" in my diary where i wrote about things happening in school everyday. It was pretty funny when I look back at it. I wrote it in a very... weird way.

The title of my magazine was "RumourMill" and believe you me, i though it was pretty cool.

Everyone who knew me then probably thought I'd end up as an English Major or something close to that like Law and Journalism or Mass Media.

I ended up in EVH.

I don't mind it because now, I write articles and put them up. Oh, I have to write an article but I haven't got a clue on what to write.

Unless it becomes a poem.

~*~*~*~*

So, i was checking my email the other day, and sifting through trash... yeah, trash because most of them are from Hi5 and Tagged. (Don't ask, and, no, I am not kinky neither do i have a non-existent lovelife) when i came across a Soundcloud email addressed to me.

It wasn't my first time seeing one like this... but it was the second time getting a notification on the downloads on one of my sounds.

It was Sautisol's "Lazizi" which i recorded over a year ago. Poor sound quality but still...

It made me realize that maybe what my sister has been saying all along really is true. People really wanna hear my voice... right?

Or I ma just dreaming?

I wondered if I should de-activate the "download" button but I decided... nah. I will do something better instead. I will sing a song by them to celebrate 1000 downloads and I am still thinking of a Camp Rock song to sing to celebrate the 100 downloads of ":Our Time Is Here"

Yes, I know, I should stop. You probably don't wanna know this.

~*~*~*~*

Then, the cherry on my pie.

I told you that it's been like a year since i first posted on Blogger. In celebration of that, I am going to add one more little thing to my everything here.

So far, I have been posting...
> poetry (sometimes)
>normal rants and what what
>links to my soundcloud
>links to my twitter (?)
>links to my youtube.

I decided to add something new... like...
>song lyrics!

Who's excited? Woohoo?!

~*~*~*~*

Yesterday, the DeSilvaGroup tried to invite me for a mentorship program that runs for a whole month... then again, maybe i did not get that right.

I have been voting for Sautisol like the crazy girl i am. No, i am not a groupie, I just zealously support people i believe in. I don't mind looking silly. I would rather be laughed at for someone I believe in than for nothing I believe in.

Weird quote over there.

Anyway, so they asked me how they can thank me and I won't lie, I was speechless, so much that i wrote "well..." because I didn't have much to say. My tweets portray every single thing I do. I won't lie, it actually felt weird being asked to name whatever gift or favour i needed in return.

I do not want any favour.

All i want is a friend. or friends.

I wonder why the world thinks everyone got a price.

How do you sleep at night?

Anyway, i was appalled by this. I mean, is it that people do things for them while expecting something ALL THE TIME? It is sad, i think it really is.

Away from my rant about gifts and what not, my mum's birthday is on December. (I brought you back to gifts again, lol) and I have no idea what to get her.

I am not freaking out. I usually get people earrings but my mum tends to lose hers all the time, so... I still have to think. I can't get her perfume because her doctor told her to avoid strong scents.

UGH!

Now i am freaking out!

~*~*~*~*

That title up there does not go whit my blogpost today. I am distracted. I have to go. BYE!

A Little Bit Of Everything

Hey everyone!

How are you doing today? I hope you are okay? I am doing great, really am. I know I have been quite quiet for a while and you guys probably do not fancy it, but... here I am now.

I have been busy studying, and catching up with school. I have also been writing "SOTH" whenever i get a break. Been voting for SautiSol on the side too... Let me stop.

I have made some videos too, tried to find time to make more... I hope to be able to do that tomorrow. I have this special request someone made to me and I haven't covered the song yet. I feel like a bad bad person.

Even then, I came up with this mash-up. I think I might put it up sometime soon when I have worked out a way to sing it without pissing my mum off. And my sister.

Then next week might be presentations and... holy molly, i haven't lost enough weight to fit into my clothes!

~*~*~*~*

I am currently writing a book called, "Poetry By Ynab" and it was previously called "Are We Cool?" coz back then, I did not understand which name i would name my first analogy of poetry.

I have also been writing song verses whenever I can... it is both exhilarating and exhausting. Problem is, will my producer even want to listen to them?

If not, then I have a YouTube Channel... I will sing them on there, kind of Pentatonix style... lol, I am obsessed with Pentatonix you guys. How can people sound so beautiful and perfect without beats?

Its... beautiful acapella.

I would love to try that someday.

Oh, and I should get some funny Dave Days or Kimmi Smiles videos. I know, they are both hilarious!

~*~*~*~*

Well, with that to say, "A Little Bit Of Everything" is not a little bit of everything without a poem... right? Well, its been a while, so... if it looks weird, just imagine I am a turkey trying to escape Thanksgiving while skiing on a snow ski. YEAH!

you can barely see the pain
crossing her eyes as she sobs
she has learnt to hide her vain
so much that even if it hurts she looks like she's happy.

The world turned her to this
she carefully camouflages a hiss
i look at her and see fear, anger and hate
but in one blink she changes her fate...

or does she?


 

Be Unique

When I was younger, my mum would look at the lot of us and tell us, with a serious face, that she wanted us to understand that we were different, and even though we did not have many friends, we were unique. She kept preaching that we had to be unique about everything we did, said, or lived.

When I got a little older, and got shipped off to boarding school, i almost lost that identity. However, somehow I found it because, well, sometimes when you are over the edge you seem to see how much bigger the world is. Not how much farther your rocky deathbed is below the cliff.

I have always been a sucker for good language command, especially with the English language. There's nnothing better than watching someone speak to you while keeping all the aitches in place.

I would SO love that.

Anyway, back to the story, a unique person has their own scale of measurement. By that I mean that you cannot measure their essence according to what others have. They set new sets and standards for everyone else. By this, I mean that they are record holders.

How unique do you want to know i am? Well, firstly, I am one of the few people who will tell you the truth and not show you how I really feel.

Crazy but true.

I am also capable of bottling in everything. Just today morning, I came clean with my parents that I had my allergy way before high school. Rhinitis makes the sinuses enlarge when you are exposed to an allergen. This makes it hard to breathe. There are times it is so painful, you find yourself crying. When the blockage happens, no sleeping position seems comfortable.

Once again, back to the story. I hide things and only tell them when I want to. Worst case scenario is when I am on the hot seat and everything has to come out and I am still somehow holding cards to my chest.

Third, I am pretty good at singing, but then, being a girl, I am pretty much bi-polar. So today I am like, "look at me, I can dance and sing" tomorrow i'm like, "don't you DARE tell me I am a good dancer or singer. I am DREADFUL!"

I was told that comes with losing self-confidence. It is probably true, I got loads of self confidence issues.

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I am kind of tired. Shall we resume soon?

Away from that, I have this crazy thought about today.

You see, I paid to attend FAMSA (Federation of African Medical Students Association) and today is the last day. I am going to attend it from morning to evening, minus the dinner because, well, I don't even know where I am sleeping, what to wear to dinner and who's going to be my escort.

Apart from that, my escort will probably ditch me anyway. Unless they are loyal or smitten.

No one really is.

I am a blonde too you know!

So, after going through my closet, I found a few options that my mum and my sisters thought were not good for dinner. Eventually, we decided I wear what I am wearing today, but my mum said she'd get me a dress today. I decided today morning that I don't wanna go.

Not because I want to piss my mum off. That is plain mean.

I came to that decision because I realised I don't frigging fit into any clique. I am kind of a wanderer. My uniqueness probably makes it harder for people to sit next to me. -> meal times are meal times. No talking looooooong stories <- Yesterday I went for lunch and found myself all alone in a crowd of people, half of whom I do not know...

This is the one time I habve felt completely alone and lonely. SO much that I wished I had carried a colouring book and a set of crayons or lots of half-filled codewords and crossword puzzles.

That is how sad my life can get sometimes.

Anyway, I am going to keep doing my thing.

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Switching into rockstar mode... loading... loading... loaded

I have a few things to say today. They are about my career. If you do not like me singing, then I suggest this is the time you should bail out and go to my next blogpost.

1.) KibanyaG FINALLY got the studio up and running. Big-up to my buddy and producer. I love you too! xoxo

2.) Double The Z got featured on KibanyaG's blog. I didn't see that coming. :-)

3.) "Our Time Is Here" a Camp Rock Cast Cover i did just hit 100 downloads on soundcloud two weeks ago after a year of being there. WOW! Thank you everyone who downloaded it!

4.) MinorSoul were supportive about my videos. Cannot wait to do more

5.) I got featured on CoverBattles for my cover of the incredibly talented Clean Bandit. I sang "Rather Be" and believe me, it was a lot harder than it seemed because it was my first time doing a karaoke song.

6.) I got two fans on Wattpad over my story #SOTH "Slave Of The Heart". They are so sweet!

7.) I continued writing songs... and for some reason i keep thinking that if i made an album, it would be titled "bullets" or something

8.) I found out that I am a rhythmical song writer. I have great command in language and i can make an amazing pop singer. WOW! I was blown away by that synopsis. Then I can't be a good rockstar. I know, super-bummed too.

9.) I have 84 views on my MinorSoul cover, "Beneath My Skin". YEIY!

10.) A friend of mine, actually make that two, love my singing. One of them inboxed me on facebook while the other commented on my link saying he wanted to share it on IG.
I could be famous on instagram!

Okay, i am normal. I was just quoting Jason Derulo from "wiggle"

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BYE! Gotta go, this is not my computer, and the wifi is not mine either! BYE!

Yeah...

I am shivering over the keyboard today lovelies. And I am so sleepy... I really hate mornings. They are so cold and since I ditched my pills and potions, the cold just seems to make me more and more irritable every day.

This is worsened by the fact that right now, my moods are SO not stable because I have been so angry at everything since Thursday.

I had a CAT then. It didn't go so well, neither did it go so bad.

We are talking about being... crazy work here. I hated how silly i felt after it. Then there's the fact that I can not have fun because my parents are kind of depending on me and my young abled sister to make supper.

I am still so tired. I just need one day per week to sleep in.

That's all I ever wanted...

~*~*~*~*

Yeah, so I keep a diary

I know, as if writing here is not enough.

My dad gave me an old, new diary last Friday. He knows i love to write. Maybe in his own little way he is encouraging me to go after it.

The writing I mean.

After all, this writing saved many more people than you'd know... like my crazy group. My supervisor found out about me being the donkey... and he seemed quite upset about it.

Like I said, I just need a day to sleep in and forget who the heavens I am.

I am so cold... I need a pillow and a teddy bear to come warm me up.

Farmer Girl AHOY!

Hello everyone!
Well, everyone who reads this blog.

There is a HUGE problem with our Kenyan Farmers. They still believe that commercial crops give them a lot of money.

Well, that was back in the 90's and 80's. Before everyone started growing the same thing for the same purpose.

Rift Valley, for example has potential for many more crops other than tea, coffee, maize and wheat. Central, or what was formerly Central, has good climate for green house crops. Western can support a lot more than just sugarcane.

At least I believe that.

And with all the technological advancement the last 30 or so years seen in the agricultural sector,  we can make our farms and gardens anywhere so long as we can tap into Mother Nature's unlimited sources of power. We have seen Israel grow their own food, and we have seen Turkana discover oil... I think it's time we used all he free wind, solar and earth to it's maximum potential.

Why?

Well, because these are things God gave us, and whatever God giveth, we should useth.

Wait, is useth even right?

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On my way to school, today, my mum looked at the pathetic earth road and shook her head. Then she looked at the crops that looked really stunted growing on the parcels of land by the road. Again, she shook her head.

My mother teaches Social Studies and she came from an agricultural background. I trust her eyes very much. She started to talk about monocropping and cash cropping and the effect it has on the soil's nutrient level. I was like, "preach it momma!" of course in my head, but the point is, even the older generation that used to migrate in the equatorial forest used to leave the patches of land they grew their crops in to regain fertility.

Which brings me to my next point. Why can't people try mixed farming? Or they plant other crops, especially legumes in between the cereal crop's lines. This will help maintain the nutrient level of the soil.

While talking about nutrients, did you know that certain plants only grow in VERY fertile soils? These are mushrooms and a certain vegetable that is found in old milking parlours and outdoor holding pens. They are kind of slimy, (it is not mrenda) and they are very nutritious.

I have never had mushroom, but my dad and elder sister seem to have very good memories of consuming the indigenous species. They are smaller than the ones in supermarkets. I have, however, not eaten any. This is surprising, considering the fact that i eat almost everything and anything.

That is what boarding school does to you.

Anyway, I have to go. I have a reasearch proposal meeting to chair.

Later!
~Me

My Little Love: My History With Music

Since time immemorial, in my mind, music has always had this ability to balm my soul. Yes, shocker, I love it so much, and it is about time I got a little bit over my fears on... being a little open about myself.

I guess you'd say I was a weird last born. Most of them love attention. Well, not me, I never wanted to be the centre of too much attention. Sometimes  think I had confidence issues because I felt mediocre. I know you wonder why I'd be that way, but that is a story for another day.

Today the stereo is playing and I am smiling all the way to my books. Yes, I am multi-tasking, a bad habit I so love!

I really love music and singing. However, I am picky about what I listen to. That is why I sit down and ask myself why someone would sit down and come up words that are derogatory to the grammar of a language or borrow from another one.

That's not the point. My point is that I have loved singing since I was a kid. I don't know why I never took part in Music Festival but I do know that during rehearsals, some girl didn't seem quite happy about me being around so I quit and went to start another career.

Not important.

Anyway, back in Primary school, there was this group I had with my friends. I think we were named Children Of God.(Yes, that sounds just about right.I schooled in Lugulu Girls' Boarding Primary School by the way. Halla at anyone who went there between 2003 and 2005.) We all loved singing. For me, that was the time I realized that music and singing was a gift that could ease people's minds. We would get on stage and sing and dance. Yes, I was super shy for some reason, and I never believed myself.

My group was made up of Sheilah Khaemba, Yvonne Ayore, Esther Walinywa, Jackline Khaemba and Hildah Osike. At some point we had a girl called Sarah and Jackie's sister Elizabeth. Yes, I quit the group on a Sunday Morning because of my shyness. I loathe myself for walking out while we were all on stage. I will never forget how bad I felt. Never.

However, on our last week before KCPE, we and another singing group which was quite sensational got together and sang two songs for PPI. Well, it was just the members of the group who were in class. I stood next to Sheilah and Elizabeth who happened to be from the other group. That was the day I realised that I could sing. I heard my voice resonate against the walls of the class and for some reason, everyone turned to look at me as I stood at the front, ducking my head from view as i sang the second verse of 'There Is A Candle'.

When I first auditioned for a position in the choir team back in form two, everyone stopped and turned. I pretended not to have noticed.

The room was silent. You could hear my heart beat.

You'd think that I'd have learned to trust myself and believe in my talents by now, but you're wrong. I have one HUGE problem: Stage fright.

Where am i going with this? Well, last year, I went to meet Kibanya G and while we were learning the song, this guy who lived next door came over and told me that my voice was so sweet, he just had to see who was singing. He looked shocked and he sat outside for a while as we practiced. Yes, that should have reassured me but I just can't help thinking that maybe I am not as good as everyone thinks I am.

My mum's gotten an allergy I have been plagued with for YEARS. It starts as Rhinitis and if kept in the same conditions and in contact with the causative agent, which is mostly allergens, then you develop Asthma. Or that's the rumor. Rumor has it.... Rumor has It... *singing*

Is this because of my confidence issues? Or i am too shy? Do I have modesty?

~*~*~*~*

Okay, so my rant is crazy.

Anyway, apparently, it is one of the things that make me beautiful.

Yes, scars make people beautiful.

So... you already know my history with music, now, my history with singing is merged with it.

Whenever I am upset? Music

Whenever I am happy? Music

Whenever I am studying? Music

Whenever I am waiting for the lecturer? Music

This may or may not be accompanied by singing. I know... it is just who I am. My parents are not as sweet as Zayn's who'd put up with his singing at 3am.

Look now he's a professional singer.

There's Maher Zain too, who I love. His music is so inspiritual. It is so sweet how his music can make me cry.

Yes, I cry when I listen to beautiful music. Who doesn't cry when they see, do or hear a beautiful thing?

So, what are my plans right now? Well, I don't think I can separate music from Zainab. It is food for my soul, it is a universal language. You might say you don't listen to music, but do you listen to the thudding of your heart? the tapping of rain on the roof? Do you listen to the call for prayer? Do you listen to quranic recitations? do you listen to laughter from your loved ones?

That is all music.

All the sounds we find pleasant to our ears are music once we fall into its rhythm. So long as a certain continuous sound loosens your muscles, it is music.

God is good, he put music all around us and we don't even notice it!

Have a musical time, okay? Love you!
~Me